Study of Beelzebub's Tales




1 The Arousing of Thought


And nothing stuck, as it was quite recently made clear to me, not through any fault of mine, nor through the fault of my former respected and nonrespected teachers, but this human labor was spent in vain owing to one unexpected and quite exceptional event which occurred at the moment of my appearance on God’s Earth, and which was—as a certain occultist well known in Europe explained to me after a very minute what is called “psycho-physico-astrological” investigation—that at that moment, through the hole made in the windowpane by our crazy lame goat, there poured the vibrations of sound which arose in the neighbor’s house from an Edison phonograph, and the midwife had in her mouth a lozenge saturated with cocaine of German make, and moreover not “Ersatz,” and was sucking this lozenge to these sounds without the proper enjoyment.


He discharged the last words with such a shower of saliva that it was as if my face were exposed to the action of an “atomizer”—not of “Ersatz” production—invented by the Germans for dyeing material with aniline dyes.


29 The Fruits of Former Civilizations and the Blossoms of the Contemporary


“This latter occurred because for various Hasnamussian purposes and for their famous, as they call them, ‘scientific aims,’ they collected the surviving ancient productions from all countries and, not knowing how to preserve ancient objects, they only hastened their speedy destruction.

“But they used and still use those ‘antiques’ they collected as ‘models’ for ‘cheap goods’ which are everywhere known on that ill-fated planet by the name of ‘Ersatz.’