Study of Beelzebub's Tales




3 The Cause of the Delay in the Falling of the Ship Karnak


“For instance, on that planet on which it was ordained that all we exiles should exist, namely, the planet Mars, the three-brained beings are coated with planetary bodies having the form—how shall I tell you—a form like a ‘karoona,’ that is to say, they have a long broad trunk, amply provided with fat, and heads with enormous protruding and shining eyes. On the back of this enormous ‘planetary body’ of theirs are two large wings, and on the under side two comparatively small feet with very strong claws.


“Almost the whole strength of this enormous ‘planetary body’ is adapted by nature to generate energy for their eyes and for their wings.


“As a result, the three-brained beings breeding on that planet can see freely everywhere, whatever the ‘Kal-da-zakh-tee,’ and they can also move not only over the planet itself but also in its atmosphere and some of them occasionally even manage to travel beyond the limits of its atmosphere.



16 The Relative Understanding of Time


“Bear in mind, by the way, that they also say ‘it-is-day,’ when in the atmosphere of their planet—just as in general on all the other planets on which, as I have already told you, the cosmic process called ‘Ilnosoparnian’ is actualized—that ‘Trogoautoegocratic’ process which we call ‘kshtatsavacht’ periodically proceeds; and they also call this cosmic phenomenon ‘daylight.’

“As regards the other process, the opposite one, which we call ‘kldatzacht,’ they call it ‘night’ and refer to it as ‘it-is-dark.’


17 The Arch-absurd According to the Assertion of Beelzebub, Our Sun Neither Lights nor Heats


“But do you yourself know, my boy, in general how and why in the atmosphere of certain planets during Trogoautoegocratic processes, there proceed those ‘kshtatsavacht,’ ‘kldazacht,’ ‘tainolair,’ ‘paischakir,’ and other such phenomena, which your favorites call ‘daylight,’ ‘darkness,’ ‘cold,’ ‘heat,’ and so on?” Beelzebub asked Hassein.

“If you don’t clearly understand, I shall explain this also to you a little.